Scott accidentally recorded himself using the toilet on a live microphone while filming for a charity show, and the team reads out an embarrassingly earnest letter 18-year-old Laura once wrote to Mel C asking for relationship advice.
Scott kicks off the show sharing an excruciating moment from the previous day’s filming for a Celebrity Sizzahatch show (raising money for Children in Need, teaching celebrities beauty treatments and hairdressing). He was fitted with a tiny microphone for filming but completely forgot to remove it before going to the bathroom, resulting in the sound guy capturing the whole thing on tape—a “schoolboy error” Scott fears may end up on YouTube. The show compares this to other famous on-air bathroom mishaps, including CNN anchor Cairo Phillips being caught on a live worldwide broadcast during a George Bush speech.
The team then introduces “Laura’s Diary,” a recurring feature where Laura’s sister Mary reads out mortifyingly sincere diary entries. Today’s entry is a letter 18-year-old Laura wrote to Mel C of the Spice Girls in September 1998. After lavishing praise on “Viva Forever,” Laura pours her heart out about her relationship troubles: her boyfriend made her a tape with U2’s “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For,” she heard him say another girl’s name in his sleep, and now he wants to be single before going to university. She begs Mel C for advice on how to make him change his mind, ending with both her phone numbers and the line “I’ll do anything.” The team finds the letter hilarious and mortifying in equal measure.
The show also features a discussion of the “Phantom Pooer”—a serial offender on Southeast trains who’s struck 30 times since August, causing £60,000 in damage, with his face now revealed in papers and online. George is particularly distressed, having travelled those trains many times.
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