Scott celebrates Innuendo Bingo’s surprise migration to Radio 2 (where Steve Wright unknowingly participates), then plays the extraordinary voicemail from a listener named Troy, who recorded a 14-minute romantic anniversary message for his girlfriend—only to be dumped three days later, after she forwarded the tape to everyone she knows.
The show opens with news that Flirt Divert, the listener-participation feature that’s been off air for months, is making a comeback. Scott then highlights the unexpected appearance of Innuendo Bingo on Radio 2, played during Steve Wright’s afternoon show. A caller asks Steve to say hello to Southwark Scouts who’ve had their “annual bean flicking contest” cancelled due to rain—a gem of accidental innuendo from squeaky-clean Radio 2.
The main event is Troy’s tape, which arrived via email from a listener in San Francisco who’d been forwarded it. Troy had recorded a previous 20-minute anniversary message that got deleted by accident, so he made a new 14-minute replacement—just talking, no songs. In it, he gushes about his girlfriend Melissa being “the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” declares himself “the luckiest guy on the face of this earth,” and runs through reasons they’re perfect together: their hands are the same size, they think alike, they’re “prepared for each other.” He uses the word “best” and variations of “ever” repeatedly, and emphasizes he never wants to lose her.
The punchline: three days after sending this tape, Melissa dumped him and forwarded the entire message to everyone in her contact list. Scott’s team plays the tape in full, dissecting Troy’s sincerity (and questionable logic) while noting the awkward gap between his professions of eternal love and his swift abandonment. Scott invites listeners to text in about why that “six-month stage” seems to trigger sudden romantic declarations.
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