The Florist Game travels to Amsterdam to test whether Dutch florists will write absolutely anything on a card—including rap lyrics—while Scott campaigns hard to get a miserable indie song to number one at Christmas.
In this jam-packed show, the team’s long-running Florist Game feature goes international. They ring a florist in Holland and attempt to get them to write an elaborate message on a flower card. The message starts seemingly innocent—”I have something to tell you / I thought I’d say it with flowers”—before morphing into a full-fat rendition of 50 Cent’s “Candy Shop,” complete with references to Doris and explicit lollipop-related instructions. Remarkably, the Dutch florist agrees to write the lot, reading it back phonetically in a accent that Scott delightedly describes as “what 50 Cent would sound like if he was a middle-aged Dutch man.”
The show also features some properly filthy innuendo from Terry Wogan on Radio 2, which sparks a moment of “we weren’t expecting that on Radio 2” surprise.
There’s extended discussion of a Chuck Norris endorsement for US presidential candidate Mike Huckabee—with genuine Chuck Norris facts woven into a campaign advert. A caller named John then insists that boxer Ricky Hatton deserves the same mythic status as Chuck Norris, sparking a friendly “war” between the two. Scott then riffs on the format, creating entirely made-up Georgina Bowman facts instead.
Finally, Scott champions Malcolm Middleton’s new song “We’re All Going to Die” as the Christmas number one for 2007, against Colin Murray’s wishes. He argues it’s perfect Christmas material, comparing it to Gary Jules’s “Mad World,” which itself became a festive hit despite—or because of—its bleakness.
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