Scott discovers that Jono, who runs the Unofficial Mills fan site, has somehow reached his late teens or twenties without ever watching a single James Bond film — and the team can’t quite believe it’s possible.
The show opens with Scott browsing unofficialmills.co.uk, the fan archive site run by listener Jono, and stumbling across the revelation that Jono has never seen a James Bond film. The team debates how this is even possible, given that Bond films are constantly on television and have been for decades. Scott thinks Jono is “a bit weird” for missing out, though he does concede that Jono seems dedicated enough to the show to write down comments every day.
The bulk of the episode is devoted to Flirt Diverters, the show’s signature feature where listeners leave confessions and stories on the answerphone, and the team picks out the most entertaining ones. Among the highlights: a man who lied about being a mechanic for the Williams F1 team but offers tire discounts as consolation; a drunk caller chatting to himself in a pub toilet; someone claiming to have played Tiddly Winks with a dog; and a caller who posed as a magician on a date by claiming to be “Keith Baker, video maker” and referencing Paul Daniels’ catchphrase incorrectly.
The episode culminates with the return of “Cluedo Dave,” a listener from Bristol who previously called in wanting to start his own detective agency. The team presents him with a cryptic Flirt Diverter message from someone confessing to something their brother disapproved of—something that left a stain on the carpet and made the flat smell. Dave attempts to solve it using detective logic, theorizing a cheese fondue gone wrong, though the clues remain deliberately obscure. The feature plays on the mystery and amusement of trying to decode what actually happened from vague, guilty admissions.
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