Scott insists Sara Bareilles is being unreasonably “mardy” for refusing to write a love song for her boyfriend, while Lloyd the 12-year-old football correspondent demands his own theme tune — and the team sound progressively drunker as the show goes on.
The show opens with Scott criticizing Sara Bareilles’ reluctance to write a love song, arguing it can’t be that difficult. He cajoles Beccy and Chappers to prove his point by attempting their own love songs, leading to comic exchanges where everyone deflects. Scott proposes they all write love songs for each other as homework. Lloyd joins for his regular football slot, announcing Italy, Holland, Romania and France are playing in Euro 2008, but he’s distracted by demanding his own theme tune—he’s famous, he argues, so deserves one. Scott asks listeners to send in their best Lloyd theme tunes.
The team then launches into “Stuff from Your Ex,” a feature where listeners send in items from old relationships to throw away. They receive a mysterious box containing a can of Tennent’s, euros, David Beckham perfume (which Beccy is obsessed with), and CDs ranging from “Dirty Dancing” to reggae compilations. They attempt CSI-style deduction about the sender, concluding he’s a well-traveled Scottish handyman with refined taste—before a caller named Robin asks for the euros because he’s going to Austria.
Beccy shares her discovery of a children’s yogurt called Paula with mascot Paula the cow, finding the name hilarious. The team discusses people wanting to ban the word “lesbian” to describe residents of the Greek island of Lesbos, leading to confused tangents about terminology. Finally, they explore ways to make quick cash: selling hair, urine for drug tests, advertising space on your face, or becoming a surrogate—with increasingly absurd negotiations about fonts and forehead real estate.
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