Scott launches the “I Love You” text game, where listeners blind-text “I love you” to a random contact in their phone book—with predictably awkward results—and takes a call from a caller who accidentally commissioned a black and white painting of Welsh footballer Barry Island instead of Scarface.
The show opens with banter about Big Brother (and a running joke about pronouncing Shilpa’s name), before Scott introduces the “I Love You” text game, sent in by a listener named Duncan. The premise is simple but chaotic: listeners type “I love you” into a text, then flick blindly through their address book without looking, and Scott tells them when to stop. They then send the text to whoever their phone lands on. The results flood in throughout the show: Sophie from Cardiff accidentally sends it to her geography teacher (whose number she had for a field trip), and Elizabeth from London sends it to her best friend. Both callers are mortified about having to explain themselves at school and work.
Later, Stuart calls in to discuss a gift he’s commissioned for his friend Gary after they had a falling out. Stuart had been watching MTV Cribs and saw Barry Island (a Welsh footballer) giving a tour of his house, which featured a monochromatic Scarface painting. In his drunken state, Stuart got confused and accidentally commissioned an artist to paint a black and white picture of Barry Island instead of Scarface. Gary apparently hates the painting, and Stuart now has no idea what to do with it. The crew take the mickey relentlessly, suggesting he could hang it in his house like a piece of fine art—though Scott admits he doesn’t actually know what Barry Island looks like. Scott also mentions Laura, hired as his interior designer, has suggested a globe drinks cabinet for his living room, which he suspects is an elaborate wind-up.


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