Dear Scott
Dear Scott was the programme’s listener-correspondence feature. A deliberately formal “Posh Radio 4 Lady” read emails and texts aloud before Scott, Beccy and Chappers answered them.
The first letter came from Brennig, whose horse was called Vin. Because the programme had repeatedly used the phrase “a horse for one Vin”, Brennig now said it around the animal so often that Vin appeared bored. He wanted advice on how to explain the joke to a horse. Scott and Beccy concluded that the problem was impossible because animals could not understand a verbal explanation.
The discussion revealed that somebody had produced “A Horse for One Vin” stickers and sent one to the studio. Scott tried to work out whether it was a transfer sticker and suggested Beccy could place it across her chest.
Martin in New Zealand wrote after hearing Scott mention an audition for Dancing on Ice. Martin had worked at ITV and said the office had watched the audition tape. According to him, Scott could not let go of the barrier, made the entire office laugh and eventually asked whether he could stop and get off the ice. Scott insisted that ITV had promised never to show the footage and denied that there was anything funny about an adult moving around the rink while holding the side.
Rose in Plymouth said Chappers resembled Brian, the dog from Family Guy. She did not mean their physical appearance, but their personalities and mannerisms. The team played clips of Brian sounding bored, moody and irritated, and Scott agreed that the comparison worked.
Rose also said she had passed her driving test on the fourth attempt. That prompted Scott to repeat the story of a cat going beneath his car during a three-point turn in one of his failed tests. He clarified that the cat had not itself performed the turn.
The final letter appeared to come from a woman called Vicky, who wanted a signed photograph of Scott for her best friend Beccy. The letter said Beccy had become obsessed after seeing Scott at a south London concert and had needed five people to pull her away from a fence when he entered the VIP area.
Scott immediately noticed that Beccy’s flatmate was called Vicky and that Beccy herself had previously attended the relevant concert. Beccy denied writing the letter but admitted she had fainted during the event, helping to create the impression that she was in love with him.
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