Beccy’s Classifieds
In Beccy’s Classifieds, Beccy searched genuine internet adverts for odd bargains and “missed connections”, where people tried to locate strangers they had noticed in public.
The first seller offered an old top-loading washing machine with a £1 reserve. It shook the house, frightened guests, made children cry and had allegedly opened a portal to another dimension while spinning a load of towels. The owner claimed dinosaurs on the other side had looked frightened too.
The machine had also pulled the seller’s shoes, trousers and iron towards it before disconnecting its own power cable. Despite leaking and needing a clean, it apparently completed every wash correctly. Beccy suggested the violence might be caused by transit bolts that should have been removed during installation.
One missed-connection advert came from a married man with seven children. He repeatedly saw a tall blonde neighbour with a visible love bite and said he would leave his wife and family if she agreed to go out with him. The team strongly advised the woman not to respond.
Another advertiser congratulated an unidentified employee at Barclays in Norwich for being “totally hot”. Listeners then reported that Norwich also had a famously attractive worker in HMV, prompting a discussion about whether every town had one person locally known simply for being good-looking.
Other listings included a 12-inch orange toy monkey with long arms designed to hug its owner, a message to a woman called Lauren with a broken wrist who was applying for a ski job, and a full-sized Barbie-themed typewriter.
Scott wanted the pink typewriter for the silent member of the production team to write Mills: The Musical, imagining him tearing pages from it while wearing a smoking jacket and dictating theatrical rewrites.
Oh, What’s Occurring?
In Oh, What’s Occurring?, Beccy and Chappers predicted the results of recorded counting games and office challenges.
One round counted flirtatious or inappropriate remarks made by Chris Moyles during an interview with a female guest. The montage produced 14 examples.
Another counted how often the guest incorrectly used Chris’s name during a later appearance.
For the final challenge, five Radio 1 colleagues had to identify an object hidden in Scott’s pocket by feeling it from outside his clothes.
Scott also used a voice-changing device to call a lingerie shop. Although he repeatedly insisted that he was a woman looking for a bra fitting, the assistant called him “sir” 12 times before agreeing briefly to use “madam”.
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