Scott proves he is faster than Usain Bolt
Listener Kimima introduced the programme after revealing that she had appeared at the end of the government’s 2001 census advert. She had not understood what a census was at the time but had been directed to raise her arm extremely straight in a classroom scene, a movement which took several attempts to perfect. Scott watched the advert online and offered her to Danny Boyle for any future film or ceremony requiring similarly precise arm work.
Scott returned from a DJ booking in Zante with the story of an unexpected stopover in Budapest. Faced with a four-hour flight delay, he asked a taxi driver to take him somewhere authentically Hungarian for food and ended up sharing goulash with him at a roadside café. They lacked enough common language for a detailed conversation, and Scott never learned the man’s name, but he paid for dinner, took photographs and affectionately decided to call his new friend Dave.
After Usain Bolt’s Olympic 100 metres victory, Scott replayed the race in which he had technically beaten the fastest man in the world. Running had never been mentioned: each competitor simply had to name five Kylie Minogue songs as quickly as possible. Scott completed the task in six seconds with “Chocolate”, “Slow”, “I Should Be So Lucky”, “Hand on Your Heart” and “Better the Devil You Know”, while Bolt struggled after starting with “Can’t Get You Out of My Head”.
The first line-up for the following week’s Fun and Filth Cabaret in Edinburgh included Tim Vine, The Blanks, Scouting for Girls, Róisín Conaty and burlesque performer Kitty Bang Bang. Mark Wright and Emily Atack were announced as guest hosts, with Chris becoming flustered when Atack entertained the suggestion that they both appear in their underwear. Scott had still not chosen his own nightly performance but confidently promised that the live programme would be the best hour of each listener’s day.
Dan and Phil then presented the first two webcam auditions. Seventeen-year-old Sam combined dubstep beatboxing with impressions of Chewbacca, Boris Johnson and other characters, while Sarah performed an energetic hula-hoop routine in a spare room decorated with bin bags. Grimmy and Scott praised Sarah’s skill but chose Sam for the Edinburgh show because his act was unlike anything else they had seen, making him the first listener confirmed to perform from home.
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