The eyes never close
Chris received cardboard glasses printed with photographs of his own open eyes. The sender claimed they would stop Scott noticing if he fell asleep during the programme, although their size and obvious edges made the deception ineffective.
Scott found them deeply unpleasant and repeatedly ordered Chris to remove them. Listeners compared the image with Mesut Özil and described it as haunting or “nightmare fuel”, while Chris continued pretending nobody could tell when the glasses were on.
Getting over somebody online
Scott remembered when a break-up meant putting photographs and belongings into one box. Social media had turned it into a much longer administrative process across Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, phone contacts and mutual friends.
One listener watched her boyfriend search online for instructions on how to end a relationship, then delete her from Facebook while she was still beside him. Another person discovered they had apparently been dumped only after being blocked on every platform and receiving a link explaining how to get over a break-up.
The attempts to create clean online endings often opened new routes back in. A former partner who removed a phone number could still send a Facebook message, while shared friends and old photographs made complete disappearance almost impossible.
A shorter-week Bamboleo
Bank Holiday Monday made In for Grimmy This Week on Breakfast Wednesday feel misplaced, but revising listeners still wanted the regular Bamboleo Wednesday. Scott delivered requests for birthdays, window cleaners and people fighting the post-lunch slump.
The programme also replayed Danny Howard’s previous-day Innuendo Bingo. Scott continued calling him Gary Lucy, and the video promoted his white T-shirt as enthusiastically as his DJ work. Chris decided that he dressed too casually when playing twice every week and needed to treat future games as a special occasion.
Alice wins Real or No Real
Alice Levine played an earlier-than-usual Real or No Real before live Big Weekend music. A claim that Danny’s walk-in wardrobe contained only white V-neck T-shirts was false, despite his convincing superstar-DJ uniform.
The Cannes Film Festival really did award a Palm Dog for the best canine performance, complete with a toy-bone prize. It was also true that security at the Big Weekend had mistaken an excited Matt Edmondson for a fan and moved him away from Greg James.
Alice scored 20 while Scott got nothing. She left him preparing for the next day’s full 5 Seconds of Summer interview and Chris still looking through a pair of eyes that were not technically his own.
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