Catching Tori on the way up
Scott and Chris presented Tori Kelly as a major American star who was about to become even bigger in Britain. Their theory was that this might be the last moment when she would agree to Innuendo Bingo, comparing it with the narrow window in which 5 Seconds of Summer had accepted Chris’s rap.
Tori had researched the game, received advice from Leona Lewis and arrived with waterproof mascara. She was initially restrained, but Scott encouraged her to follow the example of Gerard Butler, Will Ferrell and Hugh Jackman by committing completely.
Clips involved an Asian shrub with a suggestive name, a Japanese toast, a Hairy Biker fitting a whole ball into his mouth, a spa facial, the significance of “69”, a well-maintained front garden and a statue described on Only Connect as a giant blue cock. Tori’s sprays were precise and concentrated, while Chris became wetter than his guest. The final cooking advice recommended letting a friend gently tickle the balls in a frying pan.
The show enters a listener’s dream
Kelly rang after dreaming that her dad asked her to defragment a computer. She responded with the show’s familiar “whoo” and laughed hard enough to wake herself. Although she did not think she had made the noise aloud, Scott suspected the programme had escaped from the radio and entered her sleep.
Other listeners described sleep-recording apps capturing snoring, business ideas and unexplained phrases. Ian’s fiancée had recorded him spending roughly 20 minutes developing a concept called the Pizza Train. Scott immediately demanded the audio for the following day.
Their female equivalents
A pub conversation with Dougie had asked which women Scott, Chris and their colleagues most resembled in personality and status. Chris proposed Pixie Lott for himself, which the others considered much too flattering. Alternatives included Steph from Gogglebox, Whitney from EastEnders, Rebel Wilson and Stacey Solomon.
Greg James arrived and was offered Binky Felstead, although he preferred that to some of the more brutal suggestions. The point was not simple attractiveness but the entire public persona, making every answer both revealing and dangerous.
In Real or No Real, Quentin Tarantino really did retain thousands of films on VHS and DVD, using tapes rather than relying entirely on streaming. Profiles containing words such as “love”, “heart”, “romantic” and “relationship” genuinely received more matches. The Prince of Liechtenstein also really did invite the population for drinks in the castle garden on the national holiday, making him the royal equivalent of Scott’s annual party.
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