Gogglebox comes to Bingo
Steph and Dom Parker arrived with a sofa so that Innuendo Bingo could resemble their usual position on Gogglebox. Scott had seen them in the green room alongside Fleur East and treated the corridor as an unusually glamorous place to collect coffee.
Chris sat between the couple as all three filled their mouths with water. Steph wore decorating overalls and produced door handles from a pouch, while Dom approached the clips with the dry confidence expected from their television appearances. Any suspicion that they might be too posh to spray disappeared quickly.
The sofa made the arrangement more intimate and gave the water nowhere to go except across Chris and the upholstery. Clips from familiar television and radio sources produced repeated attacks, with Steph particularly enthusiastic about ignoring the restraint implied by her accent.
Are performers looking directly at you?
Chris believed singers regularly made sustained eye contact with individual audience members. Scott considered this largely wishful thinking, particularly when thousands of people could all leave the same performance convinced that the artist had singled them out.
Listeners supplied examples in which backing singers, band members and lead vocalists appeared to stare throughout a gig. One performer had even apologised afterwards for looking at the same person repeatedly, proving that it sometimes happened while leaving most claims unresolved.
Stop making food naked
Chris objected to restaurants removing an essential part of a dish and selling the result as a “naked” version. A naked burrito had no wrap, a naked burger replaced the bun with lettuce, and naked toad in the hole seemed to be merely a sausage.
Scott admitted ordering a burger in a lettuce leaf and feeling foolish beside people eating normal meals. A supposedly healthy pizza achieved its reduced calorie count by removing the centre. Chris’s conclusion was straightforward: if somebody wanted less food, the menu should say so instead of pretending absence was a fashionable new dish. Charlie Sloth played Real or No Real, although the sofa-based Bingo remained the day’s main spectacle.
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