Adele’s weekend with royalty
Adele Roberts joins the programme after an extraordinary charity-training event connected with the London Marathon. She found herself in a relay alongside Paula Radcliffe and the Duchess of Cambridge, while Prince Harry competed on another team with Nick Bright and reportedly made it clear that he intended to win. Scott’s version turns the occasion into an egg-and-spoon race with Prince Philip, but Adele patiently supplies the more accurate—and no less surreal—story.
That royal proximity does not protect her from Innuendo Bingo. Adele and Chris face clips about gooey cheese, a cucumber through a letter box, an impressive giant sequoia and a family whose “hoes have finally arrived.” In the middle of the game they discover a tooth in the Bingo bin. Everyone checks their own mouth, previous players become suspects and the hygiene of the entire operation is suddenly impossible to ignore.
Four minutes to find love
Listener Scott calls on behalf of his friend and colleague Ben, who is going speed dating that evening. Ben will have only four minutes with each woman and wants questions that might make him memorable. Chris advises him to begin in silence, stare into his date’s eyes and announce that his eyes will reveal everything about him. Other proposed tactics are scarcely more conventional.
The advice is deliberately terrible, but Ben agrees to try some of it. The call introduces a romantic storyline that will continue through the month, with the programme assuming the role of an extremely unqualified dating agency.
Secret Service code words
Charlie Sloth plays Real or No Real, including a claim that the US Secret Service has a phrase for occasions when the president and first lady must not be disturbed. The story opens a dangerous discussion about whether ordinary households need similar codes and why Scott has been having a small dispute with his neighbours.
The claim is judged real, and the supposed previous phrase “the Bosnian problem” becomes the detail everyone wants to repeat. Charlie completes a perfect round, leaving the show with royal athletics, presidential privacy, a mysterious tooth and Ben heading into speed dating armed with the instruction to say almost nothing at all.
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