Laura’s sister Mary joins the show to talk about an upcoming gig, before reading an extraordinarily confusing and chaotic entry from Laura’s old diary dating back to 1997.
This episode features a visit from Laura (presumably Laura Whitmore, then a regular on the show)’s sister Mary, who is in to promote a band gig she’s performing at in York. The conversation starts cheerfully enough, with Mary discussing the venue, ticket prices (£3 with a flyer, £4 without), and nervousness ahead of the performance. The tone shifts dramatically when Laura’s Diary segment begins — a recurring feature where past diary entries are read out for entertainment.
The diary entry in question dates from November 1997 and quickly becomes bewilderingly incoherent. It opens with song lyrics (“Mr. Sun’s Rap / Bring me a dream / Make it the sweetest the type I’ve ever seen”), then lurches through observations about finishing an essay, a friend Sarah wearing “a dress over trousers” that made her look like a dinner lady, and fragmented conversations with unnamed boys about someone named Jenny. The writing deteriorates further as it progresses, with repeated references to drinking, nonsensical descriptions of people’s mannerisms, and passages that are genuinely difficult to parse even when read aloud. The entry concludes with Laura noting she’s thinking of buying a plant.
By the time the segment ends, both Scott Mills and Mary are openly confused and laughing at the sheer unintelligibility of young Laura’s late-90s diary prose. Mary admits she has “absolutely no idea what’s going on,” which seems to be the intended reaction — the humour comes from how bewildering and rambling the entry is. The episode wraps with warm farewells to Mary ahead of her gig.
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