Scott’s got a fancy dress dilemma for his football club’s Christmas party — everything must start with the letter S — and discovers that action hero Steven Seagal is touring the UK with his blues rock band Thunderbox, playing High Wycombe on Valentine’s Day.
Scott opens the show wrestling with his fancy dress costume requirement for Saturday’s football team party. The outfit must begin with S, and after ruling out obvious choices like Santa and SpongeBob (too easy to hire), the team throws around suggestions including sailor, shark, soap, spoon, and suspenders. Scott considers just turning up “skint” and claiming to be a Skint person, though he eventually settles on a sailor outfit.
The main event of the show is the revelation that Steven Seagal — yes, the action star from *Above the Law* and *Under Siege* — is performing at the Swan Theatre in High Wycombe on 5 February as part of his world tour. He’ll be playing with his blues rock band Thunderbox. Scott reads out the press release breathlessly, listing Seagal’s patented martial arts moves alongside his credentials as a guitarist capable of “mean, gritty blues licks.” Callers phone in with reactions, including James, who’s taking his girlfriend to see the band Europe on Valentine’s Day instead (much to her annoyance).
Uncle Doug then calls to reveal that “Thunderbox” is actually slang for a portable toilet, which becomes the running joke for the rest of the segment — the idea that Seagal’s band is named after a toilet.
In the second half, Scott discusses must-have Christmas presents, including a Let’s Dance Barbie that syncs with wrist and ankle bracelets, and demonstrates a Darth Vader helmet with voice-changing effects and multiple buttons that he’s bought for his 70-year-old Uncle Doug. He also highlights a USB turntable that converts vinyl records to MP3 at high speed.
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