Scott returns from the festive break feeling rough, launching a tongue-in-cheek “Retox” campaign throughout the week while casually destroying unwanted Christmas presents on air — and discovers ITV has essentially stolen the show’s brand-new game format within 24 hours.
Opening with tales of his post-Christmas recovery, Scott describes his uncharacteristic evening spent in a candlelit bath and dressing gown watching Desperate Housewives, then worries aloud about whether he needs to change the sheets in his newly acquired spare room before his mum visits. The conversation pivots to dealing with Christmas clutter when a caller named Kev rings in to describe unwanted tourist details of Cornwart; Scott encourages him to shred them live on air using an office industrial shredder, which he does with satisfying finality.
The episode’s centrepiece is Scott’s outrage over “Small Fortune,” an ITV game show that premiered the night before — a format identical to one Chappers had invented and pitched on the show the previous day. Both feature five wealthy panellists and contestants who have 60 seconds to convince them to part with money. Scott plays clips from last night’s ITV broadcast, including applicants like two teenage train enthusiasts and a woman seeking furniture for her run-down flat, then expresses mock fury that the concept has been lifted wholesale.
Later, another caller, Colin, rings from his kitchen with an out-of-date jar of sliced jalapeño peppers that his dad gave him as a Christmas present. Scott encourages him to throw it out the second-floor window of his flat; with his flatmate Peter keeping watch below, Colin does exactly that, reporting back live to describe the “Mexican party gone bad day” aftermath. Scott keeps insisting he’s “not encouraging this” while clearly very much encouraging it.
The episode closes with Scott’s “Retox” feature — arguing that January is the worst time to start a detox, so listeners should enjoy leftovers, wine, and chocolate guilt-free all week. Dr. Mark Hamilton from Radio One’s Surgery appears to give (tongue-in-cheek) medical validation, noting that moderate alcohol consumption can reduce heart disease risk and that post-Christmas depression makes deprivation pointless.
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