Scott and the team help a listener get revenge on her housemate’s loud boyfriend by organizing an elaborate prank call, complete with a “neighbourhood watch” inspection and accusations of animal sacrifice.
Lucy calls in with a problem: her housemate’s new boyfriend is extremely loud during intimate moments, keeping her awake every night with excessive “hugging and kissing.” When asked to describe the noise, Lucy demonstrates a loud cow sound, which becomes the running joke throughout the segment. Scott suggests they try to scare the couple into quietness by playing back recordings of the noise, but Lucy says her speakers aren’t powerful enough.
The team decides on a more creative solution: an elaborate prank call. They script a fake “neighbourhood watch” inspection where a caller (doing an accent that’s difficult to pin down—South African, French, Scottish hybrid) confronts the housemate about “blood-curdling screams” and allegations of animal sacrifice. The prank is played out on air, with the caller maintaining the bit even when the housemate insists she’s vegetarian and demands to know what the noise is about. The housemate remains confused throughout, asking “what are you on about?” repeatedly as the caller persists with increasingly absurd complaints.
Later in the show, the team discusses karma with callers after Lucy mentions she’s had a run of bad luck—losing her wallet and discovering mice have returned to her bathroom. She explains the ultrasonic plug-in device she uses to scare them away, leading to a tangent about whether mice can simultaneously run away while covering their ears. George mentions having used similar devices sold on QVC, and the conversation devolves into absurdist speculation about plugging in a cat instead.
The show also features Lloyd, described as a former 11-year-old football expert who’s been raising money for Comic Relief by making announcements over the Tannoy at his local Sainsbury’s, including ridiculous jokes and a lost daughter scenario.
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