Scott discovers an unexpected talent for darts over the Christmas break and begins fantasising about a professional darts career, complete with entrance music, a glamorous companion, and a stage name – all while debating whether he really needs to drink beer or adopt the typical darts player aesthetic.
Back after the festive break, Scott reveals he’s become surprisingly good at darts after picking up arrows at home in Southampton. The team discusses the world of professional darts, noting that the Lakeside Championships (starting Saturday) have just finished, with multiple world championships now running in the sport. Scott learns that darts players traditionally require a middle name for their professional persona – his would be Scott Robert Mills – and that the sport has strict conventions around entrance rituals.
The discussion quickly becomes comedic as Scott considers whether he needs to adopt the stereotypical darts lifestyle. He jokes that he doesn’t necessarily have to drink beer (despite it being traditional), and discusses the glamorous side of modern darts, including the requirement for attractive women to accompany players to the oche. The team reads facts about young darts player Kirk Shepherd from the Daily Star, discovering that Shepherd only brought two pairs of boxer shorts to the championships and had to wash them in the bath every other night.
Scott becomes fixated on finding entrance music for his darts career, eventually settling on “Let’s Go Girls” (from Kylie Minogue’s “Can’t Get You Out of My Head”). He imagines his walkout: “Scott Robert Mills” announced in the red corner, walking to the stage with his busty blonde companion, high-fiving the crowd before taking his place at the oche. The team discusses the logistics of the stage – including where the scorer and line judges stand – and whether there might be safety issues with arrows being thrown in such close quarters.
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