The hotel piano problem
Scott began with a clip of Amy Winehouse playing a hotel-bar piano in the Caribbean after drinking.
That prompted a wider discussion about people who could not walk past an unattended piano without attempting to play it. Chappers admitted that, after enough drinks, he would sit down even though he could not properly play. His usual choice was Jump by Van Halen.
Beccy said she would attempt Chopsticks. The quieter member of the production team also reportedly played whenever he found a free piano.
Listeners sent their own stories. Sam from Reading said he had been removed from a hotel piano because it was “for professionals only”. Another listener recalled his wife singing at a barbecue while former Southampton footballer Matt Le Tissier played the drums badly. The caller said Le Tissier remained a brilliant footballer but proved that nobody could be good at everything.
Chappers on Celebrity Mastermind
Beccy finally watched Chappers’ episode of Celebrity Mastermind, originally shown over Christmas.
She had planned a romantic evening with her boyfriend but instead sat on the bed watching Chappers answer questions. Scott then played a heavily edited version of the appearance.
The edit falsely presented Chappers’ specialist subject as airport personality Jeremy Spake. Answers from unrelated parts of the programme were cut into the sequence, including “Chemical Brothers”, “Frank Lampard”, “Madonna” and “he’s a penguin”.
The montage ended with John Humphrys apparently accepting one of the nonsense answers. Chappers repeatedly insisted that the version was not an honest representation of his actual performance.
Paul McKenna
Paul McKenna joined the programme while Barack Obama’s inauguration played on a television in the studio.
He discussed politicians using persuasion specialists, his life in Los Angeles and his work with celebrity clients. He said Ellen DeGeneres had publicly discussed seeing him for help stopping smoking and that he had also worked with Daryl Hannah.
McKenna explained that he did not hypnotise people live on radio because listeners might be driving or operating machinery. He also defended hotels that displayed pianos but told guests not to play them, although Scott argued that putting a piano in public view was effectively inviting trouble.
Oh, What’s Occurring?
In Oh, What’s Occurring?, Scott set up unfinished clips, public challenges or counting games and asked Paul McKenna, Beccy and Chappers to predict the outcome before revealing the result.
The first round counted how often Lily Allen said her own name while presenting on Radio 1. Scott compared her habit with David Hasselhoff repeatedly branding everything around himself. The final montage contained 18 references to “Lily Allen”.
Another round asked members of the public what they would like Paul McKenna to “make” them. Answers included intelligent, a helicopter, a sandwich, a vegetable meal with coconut, lunch every day, pasta and “a lesbian”. Pasta was the most frequent answer.
The final challenge tested how polite Lorraine from Stoke-on-Trent would be. Scott phoned her with a banana in his mouth and waited to see how long she would take to mention that he sounded strange. Lorraine first suggested dental work or another medical problem and only directly questioned his voice after one minute and ten seconds.
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