An invigilator confesses
An actual exam invigilator called the show under the name Steve and asked for his voice to be changed. He confirmed that some staff played games to relieve the boredom of silently watching an exam hall.
Invigilators might race to supply extra paper, follow each other without running and stand beside pupils selected for private categories. A huddle at the front of the room could therefore be a discussion about the next game rather than exam procedure.
Steve apologised to everybody now worrying about why an adult had lingered near their desk. The games were not universal and did not necessarily mean anything bad, but pupils listening before an afternoon paper were unlikely to stop noticing.
Seth gets insured
Will was back at work after the five-day Budapest stag do. He had insured Seth for £60 even though the toy badger had cost about £16, a calculation Scott found much harder to understand than any GCSE maths question.
The policy followed Seth’s trip into the Danube. Will accepted that a successful claim would probably provide a replacement rather than the same badger, but remained attached enough to pay four times its value for protection.
His next invitation was a hen party in Barcelona. The spare eBay ticket had therefore created a continuing role, with strangers now contacting the programme to book both Will and Seth.
Ruairi calls the show
Scott finally spoke to Ruairi McSorley, whose frostbite interview and horseback photograph had fascinated Chris all week. Ruairi explained that he had finished a Spanish exam, allowed teachers to think he had gone home, then returned at lunchtime with a horse.
It was not his first unusual exit. He had previously borrowed a mobility scooter and driven it through school, forcing staff to escort him back to its owner. The horse was an attempt to do something still more extreme.
Ruairi spoke with the same fast-moving enthusiasm that had made his original interview so memorable. Scott invited him to return with opinions on future stories and asked for another performance of the phrase that had made him famous.
Rick Waller’s new job
Friday’s Real or No Real revealed that former Pop Idol contestant Rick Waller had become an exam invigilator. The fact neatly joined the day’s two main subjects, although Scott was distracted by how completely Waller looked suited to the role.
The week ended with its stories fully resolved: the invigilator admitted the games, Will protected the badger and the boy on the horse turned out to have an entire history of elaborate departures.
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