Tinder for dogs
Chris had signed his girlfriend’s dog Riley up to an app that worked like Tinder. He selected a flattering profile picture, swiped enthusiastically through nearby dogs and secured a match with one called Irina.
The next step was less clear. Chris sent “woof” but realised that two humans were now communicating while pretending to be their pets. Scott suggested adding Riley’s celebrity credentials, including his meeting with 5 Seconds of Summer, while listeners debated whether the service was for dogs, their owners or both.
Chris insisted that Riley wanted something casual and no-strings, then discovered that speaking on a dog’s behalf placed him very close to sending birthday and holiday cards signed by the animal.
Conor’s unfinished business
Conor Maynard returned to Innuendo Bingo with a grievance from Radio 1’s Big Weekend two years earlier. Chris had interviewed him moments before a performance and set a challenge that Conor felt made him look foolish. Chris did not remember the offence, but Conor had apparently stored it carefully.
The match began with football, MasterChef and the programme’s usual cookery clips. Every mouthful Conor sprayed represented two years of accumulated revenge, and he made sure Chris received it. His styled hair survived better than expected, but the studio sheeting and both players ended thoroughly wet.
Conor’s victory was less about the score than finally being able to tell Chris why he had wanted another game.
Tom cheats on his hairdresser
Listener Tom had used the same hairdresser, Jane, for about ten years. In a rush before a work night out, he allowed another woman to cut his hair and immediately felt he had been unfaithful. Jane would recognise somebody else’s work when he returned, so hiding it was impossible.
Scott encouraged a confession. Tom telephoned Jane and solemnly announced that another woman had been “through his hair”. Jane initially feared that he was about to reveal something genuinely serious, then laughed with relief. She forgave him, offered to repair the cut if necessary and reminded him that hair grew back.
Tom promised never to stray again. The awkward call ended far more positively than Scott’s previous attempts to mediate listener relationships and directly inspired another confession on Wednesday.
Charlie Sloth and the lightsaber
Charlie Sloth played Real or No Real. The claim that powering a real lightsaber would require 120,380 AA batteries was based on an actual calculation, although Charlie’s toy version needed only two larger batteries. The researchers calculated that 650 car batteries could also provide the energy.
Charlie and Scott drew on points, and the programme ended with Tom forgiven, Conor avenged and Riley still waiting for the next canine message.
—
COMMENTS