Scott’s passenger rating
A taxi driver told Scott that passengers were rated by the app’s drivers as well as rating them. Scott’s average was 4.2 out of five, a score he found unexpectedly insulting because he normally behaved himself and awarded every driver five stars.
Chris suggested that Scott’s travelling habits might explain the missing points. He had watched Scott spill food, thrash around on planes and avoid conversation by pretending to be on the phone. Vicky Pattison later admitted that she would score poorly too because a taxi was her private texting time and she did not want a witty exchange with the driver.
Vicky Pattison versus Chris
Vicky arrived with a new novel and considerable confidence. Chris attempted the schoolboy trick of reading a random passage halfway through the book so that he could pretend to know it, forgetting that Vicky was already outside the studio listening.
She had promoted her Bingo debut by announcing that her mouth was like a super-soaker. The boast was accurate. From the opening football and tennis clips, Vicky repeatedly sprayed Chris with more water than she received, something that rarely happened to the game’s experienced resident player.
The clips moved through The Chase, cookery, radio documentaries and the usual catalogue of completely innocent sentences. Vicky’s mascara ran, the studio sheeting filled with water and the match finished as one of the wettest of 2015. She enjoyed it so much that she immediately wanted another game. The following day she reported that her clothes were still too wet to pack and had been left behind at the hotel.
A Wimbledon report without Wimbledon
With the championships under way, Scott sent Chris into the street as a sports reporter who had failed to reach Wimbledon. His only chance of avoiding dismissal was to persuade strangers to make tennis grunts behind his live report, creating the impression that he was beside a court.
Several busy Londoners refused. Eventually a pair agreed to provide the rally, followed by one man who performed both the low and high voices himself. Chris delivered his formal report in a suit while the volunteer alternated between two increasingly committed grunts. It sounded just plausible enough on the radio and looked completely inexplicable in the street.
Radio 1’s old text number
Greg James joined Real or No Real and considered whether Radio 1 once used a full mobile number before 81199. The number 07862 011111 really was used, prompting memories of faxed requests, early text services and pirate stations reading ordinary mobile numbers on air.
The programme ended with the studio still wet and Chris newly prepared for the much larger Wimbledon challenge ahead.
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