The team goes out for lunch
Radio 1 departments were sending repeated all-staff emails announcing their Christmas lunches. Chris decided to join them by telling the entire station that the “Danny Howard team” would be away for the afternoon, despite the minor problem that Scott’s live programme still had to continue.
Most colleagues recognised the joke. One senior boss replied by asking them to have a stuffing ball for her, while others pleaded that they remain in the building long enough to do Innuendo Bingo.
Extreme Christmas Bingo
There was no guest for the final Tuesday before Deadline Day, so the game became an extreme solo edition. Chris lay on his back in an England onesie and goggles while a producer dressed as an elf fed him gravy, festive custard and mulled wine, with water between flavours.
The mixture made every laugh much messier than usual. Lord Sugar still had things he had never achieved, Watford struggled to make one go in and a blackberry machine worked with vibrating fingers. Chris’s favourite clip about Ken Brown soaking his balls in hot water returned for the finale. Gravy went up his nose, the different liquids combined across his face and a listener still inexplicably described him as attractive.
Three Christmas Day dumpings
The following day’s Deadline Day coverage gained a powerful case study in Ben, who had been dumped on Christmas Day three years in succession. The same partner did it twice, including cancelling a planned family meal by text, and a new partner completed the sequence the following year. Ben now preferred to remain single through December.
He described presents under the tree, turkey in the oven and everybody else laughing at the table while he sat heartbroken. For once, the show’s artificial transfer window sounded almost like a genuine public service.
One Million Hours also remained active after Chris’s Corby trip, while the programme prepared the Love Balloon, internet desk, terms-and-conditions team and Barbara Windsor’s hub for the next day’s two-hour broadcast.
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