The morning after the BRITs
The studio has the unmistakable air of the day after an awards ceremony. Rita Ora has co-hosted Breakfast with Grimmy, confused Storm Doris with a fish and explained that she employs different stylists in America, Britain and somewhere in between. Alice Levine has been presenting television coverage until midnight and then discovered that going out after dark can be enjoyable. Everybody is present in body, if not entirely in spirit.
Scott is still wearing his arena wristband and briefly considers keeping it forever. Clara Amfo tells him this would be disgusting. Listener Harvey has six bands on one arm, including one from Leeds 2012, and has rejected his parents’ offer of £100 to remove them. A compromise will allow him to add one more after the summer and then accept the money, though the hygiene case for immediate action is overwhelming.
Matt Edmondson’s moths and missing bag
Matt Edmondson joins the Google Game and reminds Scott that he originally invented it. The prompt is “How do I get rid of…” Scott offers aggressive hiccups; Matt supplies browsing history, an ongoing infestation captured on pheromone pads and the practical terror of a dog doing a poo when its owner has forgotten a bag.
They choose internet history, but the real popular answers are piles, a cold, spots and mice. Listeners suggest Matt sacrifice a sock for the dog emergency. He and Scott reject this as disgusting, which is impressive given the show has just spent half an hour discussing five-year-old wristbands.
Sheaths, slippery coatings and a newsreader’s dab
Alice’s Real or No Real includes a genuine Boston invention: an edible slippery coating that allows every drop of ketchup to leave a bottle. The useful technology becomes unbearable as Scott repeatedly describes its latex-like sheath and potential applications to toothpaste and glue. A tired Alice asks him to stop using every key word.
The programme also revisits Kay Burley explaining and performing a dab while reporting Tom Watson’s House of Commons version. Her determined second attempt confirms Scott’s belief that newsreaders and youth culture should remain separate. Examples involving grime, emojis and dance-music “drops” prove that the collision is always awkward—and therefore perfect radio.
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