Driving-test bananas and Thursday morning
Scott opened Thursday with Nicole from Banbury, who was taking her driving test at 9am at the age of 37 after spending the night unable to sleep.
He recommended eating a banana before the test, based on the programme’s entirely unscientific claim that nine out of ten people passed after doing so. Scott admitted he was not convinced he would pass a driving test himself if he had to retake one, particularly because he still relied heavily on the car’s maps and was unsure whether hot or cold air was best for demisting a windscreen.
Listeners responded with their own demisting advice. Matt in Suffolk recommended warm air with the air conditioning switched on.
The show also heard that the previous day’s discussion about writing affectionate messages on bananas had already influenced listeners. Jay had written on her husband’s packed-lunch banana, while Kirsty had added “Have a great day” to her five-year-old’s banana, only for the child not to notice.
Ellie signs up for pasta without having a home
Ellie Brennan continued searching for somewhere to live after moving to London for the Breakfast Show.
She had spent two and a half hours on buses, trains and the Underground viewing rental accommodation without finding a permanent home.
Despite still having nowhere to receive deliveries, she had been stopped in the street and persuaded to subscribe to a pasta-delivery service. Ellie said the introductory offer had been heavily discounted and planned to cancel after the first order, but she was now having to skip deliveries until she had an address.
Scott and Tina offered established London advice: do not make eye contact with street canvassers, keep walking and cross the road when necessary.
A listener reminded Ellie of one of Scott’s exit lines for ending an unwanted conversation: “I’ve got fish in the car.” Ellie initially misremembered it as simply “I’ve got a fish”, which Scott said did not work.
A banana sent through the post
Robert from Orpington called with a more ambitious banana story.
Around 18 years earlier, his then-girlfriend Bethan had written a Valentine’s message and his address directly onto a banana, attached stamps and posted it without any packaging.
Three days later, a confused postman delivered the bruised but otherwise intact banana. Robert kept it for about a month so he could show other people before it became mouldy.
Robert and Bethan were still together, had married and now had a six-year-old daughter called Matilda. They planned to make banana bread during half term.
The story left Scott with practical questions about whether a banana counted as a small parcel and how much postage it required.
The Good Morning Minute
Thursday’s minute included Hannah riding a stationary bike in her Exmouth garden, Francis finding a £30 flight to Alicante and Paula saying “unexpected legend in the bagging area” to herself at a self-service checkout.
Angela in Cardiff had caught up on *EastEnders* before work and was feeling sorry for Phil Mitchell. Marcus in Penrith was preparing for a Lake District bike ride with his wife Stephanie.
Bonnie in Cambridge had realised Valentine’s Day fell on a Friday and organised a group trip to see the new *Bridget Jones* film with her divorced friends.
Other messages included Joe in Spalding struggling to insert contact lenses for the first time, Susie in Bristol returning from a cold five-mile run and Geraldine in the West Midlands accidentally stabbing herself in the eye with mascara.
Scott gave his performance eight out of ten after managing to finish the complete list before the music stopped.
Pause for Thought: the rituals that start the day
Canon Rachel Mann used her Pause for Thought to examine the routines and rituals that gave people focus and comfort.
As a child, she had found adults’ repeated habits strange, including opening curtains immediately, reading the same newspaper and insisting that children brushed their teeth twice a day.
Rachel remembered requiring the same breakfast every morning: Weetabix and Rice Krispies with exactly the right quantity of milk and sugar in a favourite blue bowl. She connected that need for routine with her neurodiversity and the safety it created in a frightening world.
As an adult, coffee, prayer and Radio 2 had become part of her morning pattern. She said rituals mattered because they created space for gratitude, reflection and reconnecting with other people.
Rachel had also been heard singing loudly along to *Pink Pony Club* while waiting to go on air, leading Scott to play Tom Grennan’s Piano Room cover of *Without You* for her.
The Thursday singalong
Following the previous Thursday’s spontaneous airing of *The Greatest Showman*, listeners had asked for a regular end-of-week singalong.
Steph nominated *You’re Welcome* from *Moana*. Scott played the full song, including the rap, and listeners joined in from kitchens, school coaches and even an apartment in the Italian Dolomites before a day of skiing.
Sarah Cox messaged to say her daughter Lola had learned the rap. The singalong caused some listeners to think Sara’s teatime programme had begun several hours early.
The Easiest Quiz: Graham scores 16
Graham Fisher, a dentist from Darwen in Lancashire, played the Easiest Quiz after confirming that Radio 2 was the main station throughout his dental practice.
He regularly played at the Sunnyhurst pub quiz and sometimes wrote quizzes for a friend’s cricket club and for staff at work. That experience made him confident, although he knew the speed of the Easiest Quiz could catch out even knowledgeable contestants.
Dan’s score of 20 was the week’s target.
Graham began with “penne” as a type of pasta, although the judges briefly examined how quickly he had answered. He then identified Robin as Batman’s crime-fighting partner, completed Bruce Forsyth’s “Nice to see you, to see you nice” catchphrase and said photographs were taken on a camera.
He continued with “in a while, crocodile”, Lady Gaga as the singer of *Poker Face*, south as the opposite of north, eight tentacles on an octopus and platform nine and three-quarters for the Hogwarts Express.
Graham correctly gave 13 as a baker’s dozen, roared like a lion, named the euro as Spain’s currency, chose the Nile as the world’s longest river, supplied “bat” as a rhyme for cat and said an apple could be green.
He also said most cats had one tail.
The decisive question was: “Name a star sign.” Graham intended to say Aries, but the word came out sounding like “caries” — the dental term for tooth decay.
Scott argued that Graham had clearly meant Aries, while Graham pleaded that caries had been on his mind because of his profession. The quiz refused to accept it.
Graham finished with 16 points. He summed up the experience by saying: “I came here with nothing. I’ve left with nothing, but I’ve had a lovely day out.”
Cottage cheese makes a comeback
The programme reported that sales of cottage cheese had risen by around 50%, driven partly by younger people seeking high-protein food.
Scott remembered it as something his mother ate on Ryvita before a holiday. He was less convinced by a viral cottage-cheese chocolate mousse circulating online.
Listeners defended cottage cheese on jacket potatoes, in crustless quiche and even in banana bread. Several also recommended quark, prompting Scott to refer darkly to a previous diet involving too much of it.
Trevor Nelson’s new jingle
Before Trevor arrived, Scott repeatedly played the sung opening to his new afternoon programme: “Trevor! Trevor! Trevor!”
Scott and the team imagined becoming trapped inside the jingle forever and created an extended version in which the repeated name became increasingly unbearable.
Trevor admitted he disliked his own name and revealed that his middle name was Ricardo. Scott suggested that he could have presented as Ricardo Nelson or Ricky Nelson instead.
Trevor had spent years working evenings and was accustomed to going to bed at four or five in the morning, so Scott had repeatedly sent messages to make sure he was awake for his new 2pm slot.
Trevor said he had listened to only some of the reminders but had reported for every afternoon programme on time.
Trevor Nelson celebrates Bob Marley at 80
Trevor joined Scott on what would have been Bob Marley’s 80th birthday to discuss the five-part *Eras* podcast about Marley’s life, work and influence.
He argued that reggae had initially been treated in Britain as a novelty singles genre. Bob Marley changed that by making albums, undertaking global tours and giving the music a seriousness and longevity that had not previously been recognised internationally.
Trevor said Marley’s songs continued to reach children because the messages could sound simple and direct: “Don’t worry about a thing”, “Everything’s going to be all right” and “We’re jamming.” Beneath that apparent simplicity, the songs carried political, spiritual and personal meaning.
The podcast explored a different part of Marley’s life and career in each episode. Trevor said he had already watched many documentaries and studied Marley for years, but remained fascinated by what musicians, collaborators and fans had taken from meeting him.
He was particularly interested in the stories behind songs he had previously sung along with without fully understanding their context.
For the final episode, Trevor spoke with Marley’s daughter Cedella and grandson Skip Marley. He described Skip as physically taller than his grandfather but possessing a remarkably similar presence.
Trevor praised Cedella’s work preserving the estate and keeping Marley’s legacy relevant for new generations.
He and Scott also recommended the stage musical about Marley, which had revealed parts of the story neither had previously understood.
Mica Paris was due to continue the birthday celebration later that morning by performing a Bob Marley song in Radio 2’s Piano Room with Vernon Kay.
Elton John and Brandi Carlile revealed for Big Guest Friday
Scott finally revealed the guests he had been prevented from announcing earlier in the week: Elton John and Brandi Carlile.
He had visited Elton’s home to record the interview in the vinyl library. Although he was careful not to reveal details before Friday, he admitted noticing three washing machines running when he arrived.
Elton and Brandi had announced their collaborative album *Who Believes in Angels?*, due in April, along with a London Palladium event in March.
Scott played the title track and promised that Friday’s interview would include Elton explaining which song on the album had made him emotional.
The Birthday Game: Hev chooses Billy Ocean
Heather — known online as Hev — joined on her 55th birthday.
She had become one of the programme’s favourite online discoveries through videos filmed while working at Primark in Bluewater, particularly the phrase: “Unexpected legend in bagging area.”
Hev said the videos had begun as silliness in the break room, but her following had grown to more than 100,000. She now posed for between 10 and 15 photographs with customers on some days.
Her birthday plans included breakfast with her 90-year-old mum Mary and friends, followed by a night out in Gravesend at the weekend.
Mary had become part of Hev’s videos and remained convinced Scott had appeared in *I’m a Celebrity*, despite Hev attempting to correct her.
Hev shared her birthday with Rick Astley, Axl Rose, Zsa Zsa Gabor and Bob Marley. Her sister was such a Marley fan that she used the name “Bob’s Girl” online.
Hev said she was obsessed with the Vengaboys and would stand on chairs and “dance wild” whenever they played. She also liked Meghan Trainor, Teddy Swims and The Real Thing.
Her first Birthday Game song was Jessie J’s *Price Tag*, which had spent two weeks at number one in 2011. Hev rejected it immediately: “I don’t really like that song.”
The second was Billy Ocean’s *When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Get Going*, number one for four weeks in 1986. Hev stopped the spinner because the title summed up her life.
Scott explained that the song had been used in *The Jewel of the Nile* and that Danny DeVito appeared as a backing vocalist in the video alongside Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner.
The unused third song was Enrique Iglesias’s *Hero*. Hev was happy with her decision and promised to tell Mary that Scott had never been in the jungle.
Pets take over the camera roll
A survey claimed people took more photographs of their pets than their partners.
Scott checked his own camera roll and found 985 photographs of his husband Sam but 1,743 of his dog Teddy.
Listeners easily exceeded those totals. Shona in Glasgow had 899 pictures of her husband and 4,677 of her one-eared French bulldog Stanley. Josh in south Wales reported more than 50,000 photographs of his dogs.
The discussion also introduced some of social media’s most-followed animals, including Jiffpom the Pomeranian, Nala Cat, Doug the Pug and Juniper the Fox.
Vernon Kay
Scott and Vernon discovered that both had visited Elton John’s home but were unable to say much about it before the interview aired.
They compared memories of the house while limiting themselves to safe details such as windows, doors and the vinyl library.
Vernon looked ahead to Mica Paris in the Piano Room and revealed that during rehearsal she had asked her backing vocalists for “more sexy”.
The final exchange also solved a fact Scott had not previously known: many old businesses used “A1” in their names so they would appear first in the telephone directory.
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