Scott causes an incident
Scott’s week of small mistakes continued when he paid for a takeaway coffee and left it in the café. He then told Nick Grimshaw, Emeli Sandé and a spray-tan technician that Grimmy’s Innuendo Bingo appearance was happening that day rather than Thursday.
All three were briefly panicked by the idea that a fresh Glastonbury tan was about to be washed away on air. Scott apologised and accepted that the puddle of orange water would have to wait 24 hours.
Kim wants fingers of fish
With Glastonbury beginning, Scott and Chris called businesses near the festival to test whether they could satisfy celebrity demands. Chris pretended to represent Kim Kardashian while Scott supplied the celebrity’s voice in the background.
“Kim” wanted hundreds of fresh fish fingers, objected strongly to cod and refused to cook anything herself. The local business remained impressively helpful even as the requests became less plausible, while Chris repeatedly broke character because Scott’s Kardashian voice was impossible to ignore.
Matt’s maritime disaster
Matt had been due to make his debut as a David Guetta lookalike, DJing from a boat to people on the beach at Sandbanks. He had arranged the vessel, equipment and performance pose, only for the speakers to fall into the sea before the set began.
The accident left the audience with the sight of fake Guetta but none of the music that made the disguise work. The speakers could not be recovered from the Solent, turning Matt’s first booking into an expensive silent appearance.
Scott insisted that every major act had a difficult early gig and promised to find him another opportunity. Matt remained available for bookings, although future performances would ideally take place on land.
Alice plays Real or No Real
Alice Levine was unimpressed when Scott introduced her with invented names including “Alice Latrine”, which had genuinely been used to upset her at school. She recovered to consider claims about Charlie Sloth correcting MPs’ grammar and Scott writing his first tweets in the third person.
Matt’s appearance had maintained the David Guetta illusion, but the speakers were the only part of the act the people on the beach really needed.
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