Back from the Student Tour
Scott and Chris returned to the studio after five days on the road. The Student Tour’s mid-air and library editions had changed the scale of Innuendo Bingo, but Clara Amfo was ready to bring the game back to its usual setting.
Clara had not played for two years and arrived with fresh braids she was determined to protect. She wore a shower cap that happened to match her phone and chose a baggy shirt rather than risk the online consequences of wet, close-fitting clothes.
A facial, a haboob and an enormous spray
The clips began with a spa customer bracing herself for “a facial from John”. Other contributions included a Romanian rugby kick going deep down a player’s throat, Linda La Plante describing a tint-and-blow job, Jeremy Vine attempting to hit a former world champion’s conker and newlyweds twiddling their rings.
Clara and Chris produced their biggest exchange when Formula 1 analysis suggested a driver had blown himself off. A familiar description of enormous haboob sandstorms finished the game and confirmed that Clara had not become more restrained during her absence. She blamed her next cold on the soaking but admitted that the return had been worth it.
Charlotte reviews the dairy date
Charlotte returned to discuss Pull the Udder One. She knew some of the contestants from Harper Adams, including the student she selected, but had never dated any of them.
Her chosen “Shed Sheeran” really did have a girlfriend, exactly as he had announced during his pitch. Charlotte had seen him around campus but no date had taken place. Scott replayed the warning and wondered why nobody had followed up the claim before letting her choose him. The feature had therefore produced spectacular television but no romance, leaving Charlotte to continue the search away from the rotary milking parlour.
Charlie stores nuts in his hat
Charlie Sloth joined Real or No Real. A wearable pizza pouch genuinely existed as a triangular plastic necklace designed to hold a slice. Charlie understood portable food better than most: tight clothing prevented him keeping snack packets in his pockets, so he stored honey-roasted, dry-roasted and plain nuts under his hat during DJ sets and reached behind his head whenever he wanted one.
The pizza pouch was too small for Scott and Chris’s imagined full meal, but its existence opened the way for an even more ambitious pizza idea later in the week.
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