Scott becomes “Ills”
Scott began late and flustered after covering Breakfast. The M key on his computer had stopped working, preventing him entering his surname and temporarily reducing Mills to “Ills”. A listener suggested turning the keyboard upside down and using W, while another described calculating and copying the number six whenever the relevant key failed.
Mentioning the fault on air brought a replacement keyboard from Derek. Scott could finally type his own name and moved from technical support into an afternoon without Chris, who was away recording something that remained deliberately unexplained.
Who remembers the batteries?
The Who Game returned with Scott against another sequence of callers. Answers included putting both hands in the air, Betty Boo, Tara Palmer-Tomkinson, fig rolls, Trojan condoms and writing films on a graphing calculator.
“Nine-volt batteries” produced an especially strong “whooo”, precisely because the rectangular batteries had once seemed common and then quietly disappeared from daily life. The game continued to reward items that nobody had consciously missed until hearing their names.
Holly’s topless sandwich
Holly planned to try a “topless sandwich”, which meant one piece of bread rather than two. Scott questioned why it needed a suggestive name and why removing a single slice made the meal dramatically healthier.
She defended the reduced carbohydrate and sugar, while Scott concluded that it was simply an open sandwich with unnecessary branding. The discussion connected neatly with Chris’s objection to naked burritos the previous day: fashionable food language increasingly meant charging for something incomplete.
Exactly one month before Christmas, Tori called to reveal that her decorations had been up since Halloween. She strongly supported Scott playing Kelly Clarkson’s Underneath the Tree, giving him the approval needed to open the festive music properly. Bamboleo Wednesday also survived the busy programme, while Alice Levine played Real or No Real.
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