Scott returns from the camels
Scott came back from a brief break after riding a camel in Dubai, although the impressive camel photograph he had posted was taken from the hotel’s social-media account rather than by him. He had moved from a sunny beach straight into a cold studio and promised at least two weeks of regular shows before Christmas Breakfast cover began.
Chris had noticed an apparent “whooo” during Fifth Harmony’s introduction on The X Factor. Repeated listening revealed that the announcer had probably said something else, but the short burst was close enough to the Who Game to keep them entertained.
Secret Santa changes a voice
Scott’s £10 Secret Santa gift was a bottle of Instant Irish Accent Spray. He considered himself reasonably capable at accents but thought it belonged with Chris, whose Australian and Irish attempts had repeatedly failed.
The instructions suggested two sprays for a slight accent and four for the full effect. Chris ignored moderation, sprayed it six or seven times and immediately complained about the strength and taste. He then adopted an extravagant Irish voice and maintained that the product worked, while Scott supplied phrases and callers questioned whether they were hearing an elaborate performance. A warning was eventually issued not to empty the bottle into anybody’s mouth.
Deadline paranoia
Relationship Transfer Deadline Day was now eight days away and callers were becoming suspicious of their partners. One boyfriend decided that he needed to put in a strong performance before the window closed; others recalled being dumped on Christmas Day, precisely the outcome the annual embargo claimed to prevent.
Scott explained that the programme would have reporters, pundits and coverage as the 3pm deadline approached. Nobody should end a relationship because of the show, but anybody already planning a breakup needed to complete it before the protected festive period.
Greg James joined Real or No Real and tried the remaining accent spray. The facts included whether toaster dial numbers represented minutes, while Greg’s wider range of suits prompted a discussion about keeping emergency formalwear at work. Greg won 30–10, and the show prepared for Gino D’Acampo’s Bingo the following day.
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