Watford win and the problem with “we”
Chris arrives delighted by Watford’s victory over Arsenal, only for Scott to challenge the way football supporters say “we played well” when they were nowhere near the pitch. Chris argues that buying tickets and supporting a club makes him part of it; Scott compares the claim with saying “we sang well” after watching Beyoncé. It is an innocent question that winds up almost every football fan listening, although Scott eventually accepts that the same collective pride appears when the United Kingdom wins Eurovision.
The show also discovers that a surprising number of listeners never knew Tim Berg and Avicii were the same person. One caller is genuinely stunned to learn that the artist behind “Seek Bromance” later became one of the world’s biggest dance acts. Harry Styles’ 23rd birthday prompts a characteristically unreliable celebrity celebration, built from recycled greetings and voices that are not quite the star-studded line-up they purport to be.
Boss Chicken and the lovely chest
The main ordeal concerns a Radio 1 colleague whose 90-day fitness programme has filled Instagram with increasingly impressive topless progress pictures. Scott and Chris both want to congratulate him, but neither can imagine mentioning his torso naturally in the office. Boss Chicken supplies the solution: they ring him while alternating the phrase “you’ve got a lovely chest,” and whoever is speaking when he answers must complete the compliment.
The call lands on Scott. He blurts out that the colleague has a lovely chest and is looking well fit on Instagram, receives a calm “Thanks, buddy,” then ends the conversation as fast as possible. Chris is thrilled; Scott immediately worries about their next encounter. A listener later claims to have found the man’s account but describes photographs of pizza, revealing that he has confidently identified the wrong Phil.
What men really want
After asking women what they wanted from men earlier in the week, the programme gives male listeners the same opportunity. The supposedly dangerous question produces unexpectedly gentle answers: picnics, walks in the park, holding hands, emotional support, hugs, box sets, celebrity gossip and somebody willing to watch the Kardashians.
The contrast between the feared answers and the affectionate reality gives the feature its joke. By the close, Scott has upset football supporters, embarrassed himself in front of a boss and discovered that the male audience mainly wants companionship and a decent cuddle.
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