Scott receives an email from a listener in York whose new girlfriend crushes a melon between her thighs in the kitchen, prompting an on-air experiment that spirals into callers attempting the same feat from around the country.
An email from Rob in York sparks the episode’s main feature when he describes watching his girlfriend of three weeks crush a honeydew melon open using just her leg strength in the kitchen. The story unsettles Rob, who worries about what else she might be capable of. Scott decides to test the claim by attempting it himself with an actual melon in the studio, with limited success. He then phones Laura, a listener from Winchester who rides horses, and arranges for her to attempt the challenge live on air while driving home.
The episode becomes increasingly absurd as Scott plays the “Pierre or No Pierre” game, calling random numbers in France to determine whether someone named Pierre answers. This leads into “Bruce or No Bruce” (Australia) and “Hands or No Hands” (Germany), with mixed results. One German call connects to someone whose relative has recently died, leading to awkward sympathy from Scott.
Laura eventually calls back from a Tesco car park with her purchased melon and cantaloupe. Live on air, with the phone on hands-free, she attempts to crush the melon between her thighs. The honeydew breaks relatively easily on the first attempt. She then tries the firmer cantaloupe with considerably less success, struggling through multiple attempts before giving up. Scott plays back an audio clip of the melon popping for comic effect, and a caller phones in to congratulate Scott on the quality of the radio, suggesting it’s award-worthy material.
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