Scott’s dead hedgehog confession
The first programme after the Christmas break began with listeners returning to school and work. A discussion about INSET days and teachers’ staff rooms prompted Scott to remember the few occasions on which he had been sent inside one as a pupil.
He then admitted that, during what he called a “moment of madness”, he had found a dead hedgehog on the school field and pushed it down another boy’s back. Scott said he had otherwise been a well-behaved child and could not explain why he had done it. He remembered being sent to the headmistress and repeatedly warned listeners not to copy him because it was “really unhygienic”.
The team tried to work out how he had handled the animal, how it had fitted down a school jumper and whether the pupil had spent the rest of the day removing prickles from his back.
Dear Scott
The Posh Radio 4 Lady read an email from a listener working in Brussels who had converted several Belgians to the podcast but complained that episodes appeared “higgledy-piggledy” on his player. He wanted dates or numbers placed at the beginning of each title so that the archive played in the correct order. Beccy, described as the programme’s podcast expert, admitted that she did not understand the technical problem.
Another listener asked whether women could have a “man crush”. Scott and Beccy decided that the term depended on who somebody was not normally attracted to: a woman who usually fancied men would instead have a “girl crush”.
A listener in Melbourne asked the team to say “dirty” and “naughty” in British, Australian and West Country accents. Another compared Scott, Beccy and Chappers with characters from Creature Comforts. The correspondence also included praise for the team’s Australian impressions and discussion of whether Australians genuinely said “crikey”.
The inventions game
The first proposed invention was a reusable lunch bag printed with green mould marks. The idea was that food thieves would mistake the contents for something that had gone off and leave it in the office fridge.
Beccy thought it had been invented by the programme, partly because a colleague might simply throw the apparently mouldy food away. Scott linked it to the unsolved theft of a kiwi fruit from Radio 1’s office fridge and admitted that he had been taking cereal belonging to Greg James.
The second product was the “Tissio Pillow”: a pillow with a refillable tissue dispenser built into the side. It was promoted for people crying after a break-up or suffering from a cold. Beccy believed that one was genuine and said she needed a travel version because of her runny nose.
Both products were real. The mouldy sandwich bags were sold in packs for $10 and the pillow had been created by an American inventor.
Oh, What’s Occurring?
The first game of 2009 revisited Christmas television and Radio 1 moments.
One question involved excuses used to end unwanted phone calls. Thirteen people were asked what they would say. Suggestions included pretending to put a cat down, claiming there had been a death in the family, saying the phone had been lost while still speaking on it and faking a bad signal. The most common answer was needing the toilet.
The game also tested how gullible Radio 1 colleague Pippa was. Producer Stewie called and asked her to search nearby sandwich shops for a fictional dental expert called “Phil McAvity”. Pippa stayed on the line, ran outside and asked strangers whether they were Phil McAvity before the prank ended after one minute and 35 seconds.
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