Matthew’s party
Scott reconstructed an email exchange from an Australian apartment block. Huw Stephens played David, giving the character a Welsh voice while the team asked listeners to imagine that he was Australian.
Matthew had pushed a brightly coloured note through neighbours’ doors explaining that he was holding a housewarming in apartment three. He apologised in advance for possible noise and included his phone number and email address.
David treated the warning as a personal invitation. He thanked Matthew for including him, said he “wouldn’t miss it for the world” and asked what time he should arrive. Matthew politely explained that it was only for friends and family, although David could briefly drop in for a beer.
Instead, David said he had already invited his friend Ross. When Matthew said there was not enough space, David offered to store Matthew’s cane furniture and scatter cushions in his own flat. He then added another friend, Simon, whom he described as violent, and said Simon’s girlfriend might bring further people after a work event.
David next decided the gathering should be an 1980s-themed party. He planned to dress as Nik Kershaw, play Wouldn’t It Be Good on a loop and print several hundred redesigned invitations at Matthew’s expense.
After Matthew became openly angry, David changed it to generic fancy dress. He said he would come as a ninja, spray-paint his bare legs black and leap between balconies through Matthew’s window. He also asked to borrow Matthew’s car because public transport was “full of poor people who don’t own cars”.
Matthew finally stated that there was no apartment 3B and accused David of being the man from apartment one. David’s last email said that he, Ross, Simon, Kathy and several of Kathy’s friends would arrive around midnight in a minivan. He had also arranged a piñata. The transcript did not establish whether anybody actually attended.
Dear Scott
The programme continued answering listeners’ messages. The team discussed the podcast ordering problem raised the previous day and returned to comments about their accents and recurring features.
Oh, What’s Occurring?
A relationship question followed a listener who had been criticised for not knowing his girlfriend’s eye colour. Scott argued that many men did not know their partner’s eye colour and treated it as a widespread failing rather than evidence of indifference.
The team used street interviews and other recent clips to test Beccy and Chappers’ predictions.
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