Beccy’s Classifieds
Beccy concentrated on “missed connections”: adverts written by people trying to find strangers they had briefly seen in public.
One writer described passing a woman near Finchley Central station. She was tall, had long brown hair tied back, wore a black top and dark jeans and had made eye contact with him.
He described himself as the same height, wearing black trousers, a pale blue shirt, carrying a shoulder bag and having a large chest.
He regretted not stopping to speak and promised that, if they met again, he would introduce himself and play her a song inspired by the encounter.
Other adverts similarly relied on exact clothing, locations, glances and imagined chemistry despite the two people never having spoken.
Oh, What’s Occurring?
Scott phoned three Radio 1 listeners and, borrowing from Soulja Boy’s Kiss Me Thru the Phone, asked each person to kiss him through the phone.
Only one agreed, and even that consisted of an air kiss rather than an enthusiastic response.
A round supplied through Unofficial Mills returned to I’m Running Sainsbury’s.
Joseph, an employee from a smaller part of the business, had been placed in charge of Britain’s largest Sainsbury’s. The senior manager overseeing him repeatedly used David Brent-style corporate expressions and leadership clichés.
The transcript does not preserve a dependable final total, but the programme played an extended montage of the phrases.
The final question asked people on Stupid Street for the greatest invention since sliced bread.
Answers included nail clippers, a hairbrush and a toaster. Chappers was awarded the point after his prediction matched one of the responses.
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