A meeting at the services
Scott and Chris had to meet at Beaconsfield services before a last-minute DJ booking in Birmingham. Scott found the arrangement strangely secretive and suggested service stations were neutral territory where couples went to end relationships.
Listeners confirmed the theory. Some had held final conversations in motorway car parks because neither person’s home felt appropriate, while one woman had transferred her former partner’s possessions in bin bags. Others used services for dates, job interviews and business meetings.
Chris began to wonder whether Scott intended to dismiss him from the programme. Scott refused to rule it out, but promised to wear something recognisable when they met.
Matt’s first booking
Matt, the David Guetta lookalike recruited during the wedding search, had obtained a genuine gig. He was due to perform from a boat near the beach at Sandbanks, with speakers and decks on board while the audience remained on shore.
His role required the same skills Scott had identified for the wedding: look convincing, raise his hands and let the music establish the identity. The distance between the boat and the beach would also prevent anybody testing his French.
Scott treated the booking as proof that their impersonator was becoming a real act. Matt was less certain about reports that part of Sandbanks was a nudist beach, but agreed that an international DJ should be able to cope with any audience.
Sounding more like Guetta
The show continued trying to improve Matt’s voice. His appearance could secure the initial reaction, but he needed a few phrases that sounded plausibly French if anybody came close enough to speak.
Scott and Chris encouraged him to keep the answers short and confident. Every extra word increased the risk that guests would hear Dorset rather than Paris, making the boat’s distance an important part of the illusion.
Bamboleo and Barbara Windsor
The programme observed Bamboleo Wednesday before Barbara Windsor supplied the announcements for Real or No Real. Her voice gave the afternoon a familiar show-business finish before Matt headed towards his first booking.
By the end of Wednesday, Scott and Chris had not separated at a service station, and fake David Guetta had a performance before the wedding campaign had even secured him a wedding.
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