Chris faces scurvy
Chris arrived dressed for the 27-degree weather he believed had been forecast, despite the rain and a temperature closer to 14. Scott suspected he had read the result for a different place and preferred his own theory that weather apps were becoming as unreliable as Chris’s diet.
Another weekend had passed without Chris eating a single vegetable. His lunch plans did not improve the situation, and Scott claimed the beige food was beginning to show in his complexion. Scurvy was presented as the inevitable outcome unless somebody physically added spinach to his meals.
The funfair routine
Scott had learned that one of his friends followed the same plan on almost every first date: go to a funfair, use the grabber machine to win a cuddly toy and secure a second meeting. The routine had been attempted more than 25 times and was sufficiently polished to appear spontaneous.
Listeners admitted to their own systems. One used a miniature train through woodland, while another took dates to a driving range with a bar and food. The golf routine had produced his current girlfriend on its third attempt, so he officially declared it retired.
Scott liked the preparation but noticed the obvious weakness. A successful routine could prove only that somebody had become good at first dates, not that each person was receiving a unique experience.
The recycled treasure hunt
Sophie described a date who arrived with four envelopes containing different bars, drinks and activities. She initially thought the city-centre treasure hunt was unusually thoughtful.
The first chosen bar had closed. A second selection no longer existed either, forcing him to admit that the envelopes came from a date six months earlier and had not been checked or changed. What looked like a personal romantic gesture was an old package he had simply taken from his pocket and used again.
The discovery ended any sense that the route had been designed for Sophie. Scott decided the system might guarantee a second date only while nobody asked how many previous people had followed exactly the same clues.
Greg plays Real or No Real
Greg James joined Scott after discussing his weekend performance for the young farmers at Harper Adams. He scored a perfect 40 points to Scott’s 20.
Chris remained at greater risk from the complete absence of vegetables than from any quiz result. The day’s successful dating routines all required planning, while his approach to food still appeared to depend on avoiding anything green.
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