Secret Bingo among the books
At Aberystwyth University, Scott returned Innuendo Bingo to its original purpose: keeping the water in. Chris sat at a library table in a hood, pretending to study French while only he could hear the clips through a small earpiece. The students around him had not been told what was happening, and valuable books made spraying especially risky.
The game used favourites about a complimentary honey bush, a chicken called Sarah turning out to be male, a charity runner’s pounding, a natural wine being poured and Seve Ballesteros’s wife kissing his balls for luck. Chris repeatedly failed to contain himself, covering his atlas and drawing suspicious looks from nearby students. One person calmly approached to retrieve a book while the game continued, and another struggled visibly not to laugh.
Scott considered the secrecy more awkward than playing in the studio. Chris looked less like a student than a man behaving inexplicably in a quiet public place, while the team worried about every drop landing near the library collection.
A famous DJ, technically
The Situation Phone received a request from the students’ union for a famous DJ at its club night. Rather than book himself or another Radio 1 presenter, Scott brought back Matt, the Bournemouth man known as the programme’s David Guetta lookalike.
Matt arrived by golf buggy, wore the familiar sunglasses and received instructions to touch plenty of controls, stare into the distance and avoid speaking. Scott introduced him with “bonjour” and said truthfully that he had travelled a long way, without ever explicitly claiming that he was the real Guetta.
The deception worked far too well. Students screamed, took photographs and described the supposed appearance as one of the greatest events Aberystwyth had seen. Matt walked off after only a song and a half, which made him appear even more like an unpredictable superstar. Interviews afterwards found students calling the moment unbelievable and planning to tell people they had seen David Guetta. Scott apologised, but could not hide how pleased he was that the ridiculous plan had succeeded.
Laura searches for a replacement
Laura confirmed that Hot Lecture Guy’s girlfriend had ended the original plan. She had now messaged the Costa worker and considered inviting him for coffee, while listeners supplied increasingly direct lines involving baskets and dates.
Scott reminded her that she would be sitting in front of the live Southampton audience the next day. If neither man was available, he was prepared to find candidates on campus rather than allow the week to end without a date.
Students’ union president Louis played Real or No Real. Prince Charles really had spent a term in Aberystwyth accommodation, Bangor University genuinely operated a marine research vessel, and Aberystwyth really did have only one escalator, installed in a store that had since closed. The last fact gave the town an appropriately peculiar ending to day four.
—
COMMENTS