The mysterious texter
Most messages sent to Radio 1 asked for songs, greetings or birthday mentions, but the Scott Mills programme had become fascinated by one unidentified regular texter.
The team believed the person might be from Biggleswade, although the messages often referred to Barry, Cardiff and South Wales.
The texts had no consistent story. They jumped between invented or unexplained characters and almost always ended with “Doot” or “Munt”.
Mr Papa Sokalu Badman and the exorcism
One message said Mr Papa Sokalu Badman had died after using a Ouija board.
His head then supposedly began spinning while he spat a sausage at the family. Mr Breeze from Fresh the Occar was called to exorcise him.
The team had no idea who any of the characters were.
The seahorse and the fish tank
Another text claimed that Dada had put a “fizz bomb” in the fish tank and then tried to climb inside while dressed as a seahorse.
A much shorter message simply read: “Ta for the macaroons, Doot.”
Holidays and unexplained relatives
Further texts referred to staying at a bed and breakfast in London, visiting a place in Greek Street and somebody playing Swingball in a Madonna suite.
The texter also asked who Uncle Chris and “Randy Andy” were, without offering any explanation.
Cinema knitting and My Bloody Valentine
One message said the family were going to the cinema “to knit” and would watch a film in 3D, although Lucy was already cross-eyed.
The film appeared to be My Bloody Valentine.
The haunted bra
The texter claimed that “Mama” was haunting the house.
Alice had supposedly seen a luminous bra floating in mid-air on the stairs.
Auntie Lot on the M4
The final message remembered Auntie Lot suffering diarrhoea in a car on the M4.
The texter said the smell could be detected as far away as Cardiff and that Shake ’n’ Vac had been required afterwards.
Scott and the team continued to enjoy the messages precisely because they could not establish whether any of the people or events were real.
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