The extra second
Scott was delighted that a leap second would be inserted immediately before midnight. The adjustment kept atomic time aligned with the Earth’s rotation, but he cared mainly about how Radio 1 could make the additional second feel important.
His proposal was to add an extra Big Ben-style chime during Huw Stephens’s programme. One second was not long enough for any meaningful activity, so a ceremonial noise became the best available use of time that had not existed the previous day.
Is a latte a pie?
Scott had begun buying a latte after the gym and discovered that listeners considered it capable of replacing the calories he had just burned. Baristas called to explain the differences between lattes, cappuccinos, flat whites and Americanos with milk.
Scott felt the industry had invented too many names for combinations of coffee and milk. Chris’s defence was weakened when he admitted that his own healthy breakfast could include nuggets and a strawberry milkshake because drinks did not count.
The nation’s baristas disagreed. A latte was not literally a pie, but neither Scott nor Chris could continue treating everything in a cup as nutritionally invisible.
Drake becomes Craig
Entertainment news brought footage of Drake arriving at Wimbledon. He posed for photographers expecting the response due to a global rap star, only to hear people repeatedly shouting “Craig” in his direction.
Scott sympathised because mistaken-identity calls were familiar to him, although confusing Drake with Craig was on another scale. The programme apologised on behalf of the British press while preserving the audio for everybody who had missed the moment.
Licking wrists
With temperatures rising, Scott tested advice for staying cool. Suggestions included wearing wet clothes in bed, turning a hot-water bottle into a cold-water bottle, chewing mint gum and running wrists beneath a tap.
One source recommended licking the wrists. Scott refused to lick his own and held out an arm until Chris did it, only for Chris to report that he tasted salty. Neither felt cooler, although listeners began trying the method in cars and discovered that air passing over a wet wrist worked better than the studio version.
Ice in the pants
The reliable final option was ice down the pants. Scott and Chris took turns reading entertainment stories while the other inserted cubes without looking.
The ice had frozen into a single block. Chris received the “iceberg” first, then Scott was expected to accept the same piece after it had already been inside Chris’s clothes. Both produced noises later edited into a tennis rally against Serena Williams.
The method was uncomfortable but effective. Chris eventually admitted that he felt pleasantly cool, giving the last June programme a practical conclusion that wrist licking and wet pyjamas had failed to provide.
Celebrities at the wedding
The show also found a wedding photo-booth video in which Eamonn Holmes, Kim Kardashian, Ryan Gosling and Taylor Swift appeared among the guests. The groom had edited his wife’s favourite celebrities into the pictures so convincingly that they looked present.
Scott considered it romantic and strange in equal measure. After a month spent trying to provide one real-looking celebrity for another wedding, the video demonstrated the simplest solution: take the photographs first and add the famous people later.
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